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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29702079">Blind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang'>idrilhadhafang</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo Lives, Death of Shara Bey, Fix-It, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Loss of Powers, M/M, Past Questionable Science, Slow Burn Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, albeit temporarily</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:41:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,352</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29702079</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben lives, but his Force Sensitivity is cut off. Poe has to deal with the aftermath.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Bad Day Collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Blind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I own nothing. </p><p>Author’s Notes: Special thanks to auxbloood on AO3 and Discord for brainstorming this with me!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The struggle back up towards the surface of Exegol’s pit was almost excruciating even as the redeemed Ben Solo climbed. He didn’t know what had kept him down there for so long, other than being momentarily stunned by the collision of his body against the durasteel pole. </p><p>He was tough. He’d always been. He’d at least tried on Ilum, even though he was bleeding out from where Chewbacca had shot him, even though he had ultimately failed when he’d offered training to the girl that he had a feeling he just knew. </p><p>And speaking of Rey, she was here. She was —</p><p>It was reaching the surface that he found her. Cold, unmoving. </p><p>Dead. </p><p>It wasn’t right. Palpatine — what he’d done to them both must have been worse than Ben had given him credit for. </p><p>It had all been a consequence of his own foolishness. His own pettiness. His own...everything. In that moment, everything he had been through before didn’t matter. Not when an innocent girl had died. </p><p>To sum up his bond with Rey...it would have been simplistic to call it romantic. It was clear that she had felt something for him, that she had loved him, as one would love an idea. She had wanted to take Ben’s hand...even when that had seemed out of reach. </p><p>It was after hugging her close to him, feeling the knowledge of his own folly crash over him, that Ben knew. He’d studied. Stars willing, he’d studied. It had started, of course, with Poe. </p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>The both of them, two little boys, standing in front of a grave that was lowering the body of Poe’s mother, Shara Bey, into the ground. <br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ben was five. Poe was eight, and he looked so very much like his world had just been shattered. Like everything he’d known had been shattered. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“She’s not gone,” Ben said. “My mommy says that no one’s ever really gone. Your mommy may still be watching over you, even if you can’t see her.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Poe turned to look at him, drying his eyes. There was something about the way that Poe looked at him, with wonder and curiosity, that made Ben wish that he could bring back Shara Bey right then and there. </em>
</p><p><em>The voice in his head...it tugged at him. The voice that said that he could bring Shara back. Ben was only five; it would take years for that innocent intention to be warped into something power-seeking and monstrous. But the seeds were planted. Right then and there.</em> </p><p>***</p><p>He needed to do it. Needed to do it, or he would die inside. Knowing he still lived, without giving back to the galaxy for a change. </p><p>He knew the technique. Had experimented. Had read up on variants of it. Now, he poured whatever force he could into her. His last gift to her. </p><p>The Dyad was broken. Naturally. A bond could be broken, it was possible. It would be empty, a wound, but it was possible. But from one half of a Dyad to another...he’d give her that much. </p><p>She woke. </p><p>“Ben,” she whispered. And it struck him that she was grateful to him.</p><p>The last one who was was Poe, a year ago. </p><p>She was about to kiss him, or something, but then he felt himself fall. Fall to the ground.</p><p>He felt, despite being on the surface, like he was being buried alive. All his senses blinded at once. </p><p>***</p><p>It was later that he woke in medbay. After what seemed like too long feeling buried alive, in the cold and the dark. Rey was perched by his bed, as was...</p><p>Poe?</p><p>Ben hadn’t been able to meet up with him during the Exegol mission, but they had had encounters here and there. Always wavering on the edge of saying what Kylo Ren had been too scared to say. </p><p>“Ben Solo, you kriffing idiot,” Poe whispered, fiercely. “When Rey brought you in, I was scared beyond belief.”</p><p>”You know each other?” Rey said, softly. Ben could hear her hurt underneath the surface. The pain there. </p><p>“Yeah,” Poe said. “If you’re going to hate me for that...”</p><p>”No. I know we’re...related.” A flush rose up Rey’s cheeks. “Can we just pretend what I was about to do on Exegol never happened, Ben? I was just so happy you came back...”</p><p>Ben nodded. He couldn’t feel anything around him. No thoughts. Nothing like that. It was...hadn’t the Jedi Exile Arawn Sinn said that it was like having your senses blinded all at once? </p><p>“It’s all right,” he said, trying to take his mind off the discomfort that he felt, the confusion. “Knowing that one of my family is still alive...that’s something. One of the only good things to happen to me.”</p><p>Especially considering that three of his family members had met tragic ends. Han, murdered. (And somehow Han still forgave him) Luke, sacrificing himself for the Resistance. Leia, the same.</p><p>Rey did smile. "Yeah,” she said. “Same.”</p><p>Poe spoke. “You scared me,” he said. “Ben. Getting you back...it’s the first thing that’s gone right for me.”</p><p>Rey politely excused herself. Gave them space, even as Poe hugged Ben. </p><p>Ben knew that he didn’t deserve something so wonderful. He...how was he still alive? And possibly blind to the Force?</p><p>He should be dead. He didn’t deserve to live. To be there with someone as wonderful as Poe. Someone like Rey, either, his family. </p><p>He didn’t resist even as Poe hugged him. But deep inside, Ben wished that he was dead. </p><p>***</p><p>Even as Poe broke away, he said, “Rey said that you brought her back to life. Using the Force. Is this just a new...thing?”</p><p>”Not entirely new,” Ben said. “Darth Traya, or Kreia, used it on Onderon with Colonel Tobin when he was wounded by the drexl. It wasn’t a mortal wound, though. Bringing back someone certifiably dead is something else...”</p><p>”So, what happened?”</p><p>Ben paused. How was he supposed to explain this? Then again, Poe knew of the other awful things he did. Had even experienced them firsthand. (Stars, what he’d done to Poe, even forced...it was a miracle that Poe didn’t hate him after that)</p><p>”It started with your mother,” Ben said. “It wasn’t just that she meant something to me. It was also the fact that I didn’t want you to be sad. And so I...researched. Sometimes I’d go into Sith holocrons. Things I wasn’t supposed to touch. They’d talk about manipulating midichlorians to sustain life. That was what Plagueis did. And as Kylo...”</p><p>”You followed in his footsteps?”</p><p>”I tried to,” Ben said. "I’d have...subjects. I’d start easy. People in comas, people with fatal injuries. It was wrong. Of course I couldn’t control life and death, any more than I could control the natural course of events. But it was just a matter of time. I thought, then...I could resurrect your mother.”</p><p>He watched Poe’s face. The confused mess of emotions that seemed to swirl there. </p><p>Then, “But it was wrong, Ben. You couldn’t just reanimate a corpse. Or at least a skeleton.”</p><p>”I know that much,” Ben said. “Snoke, or Palpatine...I don’t know which. Stars help me if I knew which. But they stoked it. I...to think I wanted to be like my grandfather when we’re so similar. If not for the coloring, I’d say we even look something alike.”</p><p>”You’re not him.” Then, “I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t angry, Ben. You used my mother’s body as something you could just control. And I didn’t want you to do terrible things. Even in the name of making me happy. I don’t forgive you yet...but I’m not letting you go again.”</p><p>Ben nodded. “That’s fair.”</p><p>Maybe that was a reason not to try and kill himself, because Poe needed him. Rey needed him. </p><p>“This new state I’m in,” Ben said. “Will it get easier?”</p><p>”I’ll help you.” There was the Poe that Ben knew. The warmth in his voice, the hope and belief. “For now...just focus on getting well.”</p>
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